This is a really interesting article on Salon.com about why a lot of women like to tweeze hairs, squeeze zits, and otherwise groom their male partners:
http://www.salon.com/mwt/feature/2003/08/11/grooming/index.html
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why women like to de-zit their men
(37 posts) (16 voices)
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Posted 1 year ago #
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Out of the closet, zit-pickers...how ridiculous is it that people have to be ashamed or hide the fact that they enjoy grooming family, friends, lovers. Could we possibly be more uptight about universal, human behavior? If somebody interviewed me, I would be proud of why I like to pop zits.........definitely a part of foreplay...doesn't everybody know that? Harumph!
Helen Fisher http://www.helenfisher.com/ is a world-class, cutting edge Biological Anthropologist. Nobody has a better understanding of why human beings do what we do. Oxytocin and vasopressin....our DNA wants us to get high on being close to our loved ones. (So that our species reproduces) Otherwise, men and women would ignore each other completely!!!
Posted 1 year ago # -
John has just 1 in the middle of his back. Fills up not to a great amt. but i am faithful to empty it every 3 days or so.. maybe I should wait longer!!
Posted 1 year ago # -
Does he know you love him for his zit? Just teasing. My first real love had a magnificent back full of zits and blackheads. The rest of his gorgeous body was totally clear....sigh...what more could a woman want in a man!!
Posted 1 year ago # -
Now I know why my 1st romance enjoyed rubbing my back so much!!!
Posted 1 year ago # -
I just KNEW there had to be a good reason why I love to "groom" my loved ones!
Posted 1 year ago # -
Well there you go. Add another "con" to the list for the early stages of dating. Once you're in love it's normal and even cute. But after the first time you have sex it's weird! Boo!! Luckily my policeman who let me get his ingrown hair hasn't dismissed me as weird just yet.
-Christina
Posted 1 year ago # -
I think that when I pick at both my husband and myself it's more of a "narssistic extension of self" for me. I want my hubby to be free and clear of all that ook. I don't find anything sensual in it, other than the fact that I am touching my husband. Because it sometimes hurts, I will gently rub his back or something to make up for the pain, but neither of us would hop into hot sex after a picking session. In fact, I think pus is gross, and that's why I want it gone, I don't linger over it, or get turned on by it. It is simply ridding my guy, and occasionally one of my kiddos of something that I wouldn't want on myself. So if I think it's so gross, why do I watch the videos here? My guess would be that I just like to be grossed out. Not in the gagging, retching, ridiculous way that we hear on some of the posts, but in the "watching a train wreck" kind of way. That's not exactly a perfect way to describe it, but it's just like "Oh My GOD, did you see that" kind of way. So touching is a turn on, but picking is not, for both my husband and myself (I asked him after having him read the article). We've been married for 20 years, so we're way past the peeing with the door open part, so this isn't a new relationship that hasn't made it to the part where the wonders of what picking can do for one's sex life are illuminated. We keep the picking/grooming to the bathroom, and the sex in the bedroom, unless the kids are gone for the weekend or something, then the house is open season for sex.
Posted 1 year ago # -
There is nothing sexual about this at all. It is gross as hell. We here just have a sick hobby. Most people, as Inna said, do it to rid their loved ones of things that don't belong.
I did, however, have a girlfriend once who was exteremely aroused by back zits. She almost freaked when she went looking at there were none.
Posted 1 year ago # -
I don't agree, nor do most scientists who study human behavior. Grooming behavior, between lovers, enhances intimacy chemically. On the other hand, Cystface, you do have a sick hobby, (if you think you do.) And nothing gross about it either. Admit it, you just love thinking you're sick and gross. Sorry to disappoint you, but you're just human. x0x0
Posted 1 year ago # -
Since you are quoting by stating 'most scientists' please back up your claim and name a few.....or are you making this stuff up as you go?
Grooming and sexuality are not the same. I groom my 6 week old every day but hardly consider it sexual. Grooming can acompany sexuality but they are different and not a 'hand in hand' thing. I
Popping zits is a fetish and IS abnormal. I do it but won't hide behind the guise that it is normal. There is nothing normal about a person wanting their mate to have acne or cysts so they can 'pop' them.
Posted 1 year ago # -
I'm quoting Helen Fisher, a leading Biological Anthropologist Helen Fisher, PhD Biological Anthropologist, is a Research Professor and member of the Center for Human Evolution Studies in the Department of Anthropology, Rutgers University. http://www.helenfisher.com/ .
I'm also quoting http://www.springerlink.com/content/utx6n2w73564587m/
See also Robin Dunbar, British Anthropologist who links grooming with numbers of stable relationships possible for the individual, group size, and evolution of language. http://www.hup.harvard.edu/catalog.php?isbn=9780674363366
And I'm NOT talking about grooming a baby, I'm talking about husbands, wives, men and women who groom each other. Intimacy and grooming release oxytocin and vasopressin, natural hormones that help create what Fisher calls an "attachment system". By the way, the bonding you're experiencing with your newborn releases a huge cocktail of these hormones, including dopamine, serotonin, all of which make you feel the emotions you're experiencing as a new parent.
Interesting that you insist zit fascination is a fetish. Fetishism, is, of course, a variant of human sexuality. http://health.discovery.com/centers/sex/sexpedia/fetishism.html so I am unclear as to why you insist zit-loving isn't sexual in one moment, but then categorize it as highly sexual in another.
If you think zit-popping is "abnormal"; I tremble to think how you would describe the real sexual practices of human beings all over the world. Surely, your defintion of normal sexuality goes far beyond missionary intercourse for reproduction. Human sexuality exists on an enormous spectrum of behavior and Anthropologists study all human behavior.
Whether it's popping zits, picking ticks or fleas out of each other, etc., our species has been grooming for millions of years and it is, by definition, part of kinship, sexual intimacy, and we are genetically and hormonally hard-wired to do it and enjoy it.
In truth, I find your remarks sexist and wrong-minded and if anything, insulting to all the women on this site who take great joy in grooming their men. I also think you do an enormous disservice to Emil by insisting that zit-popping, whether at the hands of a doctor or an intimate is gross and abnormal. The only thing gross and abnormal is your attachment to shame. We're all healthy and normal.
Posted 1 year ago # -
You find all comments not to your liking insulting to all women. What you wrote is not what I said. I mentioned nothing about docters removing cysts as being abnormal. The emotions I felt as my baby was born had nothing to do with the hormones he was secreting. That was and still is pure love for the gift God gave my family. Man you are fucked in the head!!
Zit fascination is a fetish. You did quote a couple lines from books so I will give you some credit. But I must warn you to tread lightly with Dr Fisher's, and those like hers, work. They carry things to an extreme. You sound like someone who just took an anthropology course and accepted everything as fact as you read it.
Oh, and what are you covering on your neck with your hand? Is it a growth we might be interested in? Do men get sexually aroused when you take your hand away and allow them to stroke it? Just curious????
And as man was evolving he/she ate those ticks and licked that pus as it was groomed off. Do you find that arousing?
Posted 1 year ago # -
I have a BA in Cultural Anthropology from Columbia University, '73. I studied with a famous Anthropologist, Margaret Mead, and we did extensive work on the mother/child dyad (relationship). I know Dr. Fisher personally. Nothing extreme about academic anthropologists, doctors, biologists who devote their lives to studying the science of human behavior, anatomy, biology, etc.
You have a bias against science and the pursuit of knowledge about human behavior, nervous of scientific realities. Of course, her work is factual, it's not random ideas, it's based on solid medical research and extensive research, done by 100s of published Anthropologists. You know these smart types at Harvard, Yale, etc all read each other's work....maybe you didn't know that.
There is no God; there is only man-made institutionalized religion. You had sex with your wife, you fertilized her egg, she brought an embryo to full term and delivered it. We are animals with very high brain function.
The emotions you feel come from YOUR hormones, silly man. And there are chemical secretions from the baby that help to create a bond.
If you're insisting that zit fascination is a fetish, that means you're masterbating and experiencing an erection when you look at them. Fetishism, by definition, brings a person to orgasm. Nothing wrong with that. Thinking that I'm actually aroused by PTZ is crazy...no, darling, it's being in bed with a man and exploring each other's bodies that does it for me.
Basically, you're a pervert and uneducated, who believes that God makes babies. I'm an atheist with strong Buddhisst philosophical tendencies who believes in the beauty of science and finds all human behavior fascinating. There's room for all kinds of people on PTZ.
I find wisdom and knowledge arousing, but not in the sense that you do. You're totally cock-centered, probably because you haven't had sex in months and like most new fathers, ignored sexually by your wife. What I dislike about you is your vulgarity. The knowledge that you go from holding your baby in one minute and the next, you're secretly posting vulgarities and bizarre innuendoes to a woman on PTZ is creepy and nauseating to me. You're a pervert.
The way in which you jump from the baby to the smarmy vulgar comments gives me the CREEPS. What a loser. If only your wife knew...............
Posted 1 year ago # -
good grief
Posted 1 year ago # -
I am a biologist and a computer expert. I do believe in God as does most of the world. You may now get the last word in because that is in your nature.
And regardless of who you say you are........you are a fucking idiot and I am done with you!
Posted 1 year ago # -
to echo the penguin: good grief!
sexandzits, you are passing too quickly from a point where you might have introduced yourself and your opinions in a friendly manner to a point where you are nothing but a caricature -- readily dismissed, easily anticipated, quickly ignored.
you really are rapidly becoming just another old-style flamer, very formulaic.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Sex, I usually do really appreciate what you have to say. I think you bring a lot to the table. But I don't understand this hostility. It's unattractive and makes what you're saying seem less valid. You're a brilliant, educated woman. I'm sure you know that. It could have just been a conversation about differing opinions, but you turned it into an attack on CF's character. Not admirable, and I think you're above that.
-Christina
Posted 1 year ago # -
Okay, I am done. sex has gone too far, and seems to be somewhat in need of a check from Emil. I hope that comes soon, a two week break seems like a good way to teach someone what is appropriate on this board and what is not. Cyst, I know who you are and our personal relationship make me want to scream and yell, however that kind of thing never seems to work with people like sex. Let's just hope that Emil sees what is going on here. Bless you and your wonderful wife and kids.
Posted 1 year ago # -
BTW, one of the definitions for "fetish" is "an object of irrational reverence or obsessive devotion". I'd say most of us on PTZ feel that way about zits.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Yeah sex is a smart old cookie it seems, but she likes to use her "intellectual prowess" to make everyone feel small. I mean when I read the comments it seems like yeah.. wow she knows her stuff throwing out so called "facts" she thinks she knows about cyst face.
I can also see how all these posts and comments can lead to some frustration, but that still doesn't make it right.
Sex you are very good at the whole "internet thing" its pretty impressive and I bet you are right on with a lot of your points, but that doesn't make it nice or right too call out people.
"I'm an atheist with strong Buddhisst philosophical tendencies"
If your an atheist be an atheist. Don't create a hodge podge of religions and ideals to live by.
I have spent countless hours on the internet and I know throwing back at each other will never make anyone see the others real point or convince them of a God or that we are here just by chance.
The simple fact is that this is a zit popping site, so lets just chill out and enjoy a good old pop.
Don't attack, don't curse, don't belittle... you "ALL" get the point.
I don't want too issue any time outs here ;-)
Posted 1 year ago # -
Well back to the subject at hand! My mom got me started popping zits when I was a pre teen. I had acne and she used to make me lay in her lap while she would pick the zits off my face. When I got older I did it myself. When I was a teenager my best friends brother had really bad backacne and he would let me sit for hours and pop his zits. I would get a rush just thinking about doing it. There was nothing sexual about it. Till this day I will pick anyone's zit, boil, blackhead if they will let me!!!
Posted 1 year ago # -
Emilbus, I have done nothing but support your efforts to make a go of this site. How dare you criticize my personal philosophies. I have never, ever attacked anyone. I have ONLY defended myself against 2-3 people who persist in thinking they can use me as a target for relieving their frustrations, about their health, their vulgarities, their nauseatingly sexist remarks, and their inabilities to understand that other people are entitled to their opinions.
I have also defended you in your hostilities and criminal prank phone calls to total strangers.
I'm 63, yes, very smart, yes, very caring, and yes, very bitchy if neurotic people feel a need to belittle me. I certainly won't take criticism from you, Emil, on my atheism, my Buddhism (shows your total lack of true understanding of both; perfectly acceptable to mix Dalai Lama with atheism...Buddhism does NOT have a belief in a creator god).
Once again, how DARE you, in the name of peace, belittle my personal philosophies of atheism and Buddhism, on the basis of things you have read on the web.
Your intervention ONLY when I mention atheism is morally, intellectually, and spiritually repellent to me. I do NOT brook insolence from anybody, sweetie.
I don't support morally reprehensible people in their business ventures who feel a need to intervene and criticize when personal philosophies are mentioned.
A simple "please don't argue" would have been sufficient; going the extra length to criticize my personal philosophy in life is a breach of trust and integrity. I don't see you criticizing any other religions on here.
You have NEVER intervened when CystFace or that Winston Church sexist pig actually wrote "fuck you" to me in the Forum, but when I mention atheism, you feel a need to intervene and criticize.
Shame, shame, shame on you Emil, for not having the maturity to run the Forum in a way that protects ALL people, and yes, particularly women, from the scathing remarks that some men feel free to post.
I will still enjoy the vids, but I can get them anywhere, anytime. I certainly do not intend to put up with insolence and attacks on my personal spiritual philosophies from you or anybody.
I do NOT use my intellectual prowess to make people feel small; they do that for themselves. Many uneducated and small-minded people are intimidated by intellecual pursuits.
Posted 1 year ago # -
bye
Posted 1 year ago # -
lol prank phone calls? Not sure what that is about....
Now by you saying there is no God, isn't that criticizing me because I believe in one?
Anyways like I said not gonna get into all that here cause we obviously all can't be right? Can we?...
Anyways you are prob right I should defend you in certain areas, and if people have said that to you hear I am sorry. I try to see all the forum posts, but of course there are a million things going on and so little time.
When there are attacks like that bring them to my attention that's all I ask. CF shouldn't have said that either, i guess that is why he is saying bye lol.
I mean in all honesty all this crap drives me nuts and really makes no difference as I do not lose a wink of sleep over it.
Keep on frikking popping people.
PS - I do thank you for sticking up for me with the revenue aspects of the site. ;-)
Posted 1 year ago # -
Ohh people who are always trying to change and correct (and fight with) others are the people who most need to be working on themselves. In life, intellect doesn't pan out to mean anything without some emotional intelligence and personal integrity.
BTW, Emil, (*sarcasm coming up*) better be careful who you tell about your criminal behavior... The FBI takes prank calls VERY seriously. Wth??
Posted 1 year ago # -
If I may, and I think I know CystFace better than a lot of people on here, i think his "bye" was intended as a reply to the quote in sexandzits rant that included this comment: "I will still enjoy the vids, but I can get them anywhere, anytime". I think he meant "don't let the door hit you on the ass". Just so it's clear, that's all.
Emil didn't make any prank phone calls. He posted a story sent to him by a friend. I believe he mentioned him at the begining of the story by saying "Thanks [Mark](?)". It was a topic started by Emil entitled something with "bad day" in it. It was a joke, and has been on the net for years. When you skim through a post instead of reading it all the way through, top to bottom, you tend to make mistakes and assumptions. I guess even the "uneducated" can clear some things up once in a while.
Emil does not have the job of defending anyone. He doesn't have to take on and defend any one person's personal beliefs. He just runs the site, and because of that, he can run it however he chooses. I'm pretty sure that he feels shamed by no one here on PTZ.
To be perfectly honest, a 'please don't argue" wasn't appropriate, as the only one arguing was sexandzits, with herself. Big wordy posts attempting to make others feel small or stupid, sexist or sick, were just chock full of curse words, and a thinly veiled hatred of all mankind.
So, in the spirit of Cystface's post, don't let the door hit you on the ass.Posted 1 year ago # -
"Now by you saying there is no God, isn't that criticizing me because I believe in one?"
NO. You're entitled to believe whatever you want to believe. Kindly extend the same courtesy to me. Atheists are entitled to their beliefs.
Having a different point of view about anything does NOT automatically mean a criticism of the other point of view. You have the choice of being open to other belief systems and not feeling criticized, nor personally attacked. You don't need to defend your religious beliefs to anybody, certainly not to me. What you might consider is that your expectation of respect towards you for holding those beliefs or faith MUST be extended to others who do NOT agree.
I misread the phone prank thread.
As for "big, wordy posts", LOL, sweetie, you're famous for those...I just happen to have a bigger vocabulary and a higher education (does NOT make me a "better" human being). You might be feeling that I'm using an intellectual vocabulary to make you feel stupid, but you're wrong. This is how I speak and write. I have no intention to "make" you feel stupid. If anybody feels stupid or sick or whatever when they read what I write, take personal responsibility for your feelings.
"Thinly veiled hatred of mankind" LOLOLOLOL...Wrong, again. If anything, I don't veil hatred, certainly not thinly, and how you would jump from me defending myself against an anonymous online loser creep to "hatred of mankind" is..........hmmmmm, still doing drugs? You're cute, innitsooften, but your misreading of how people interact and why can get you into a lot of trouble in the real world. Don't leave the house.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Sexandzits,
Webster said "know the big words but use the small".
Trying to impress others the way you do and trying to make others feel 'small' and 'stupid' is a sign of a very poor self esteem. We would all like you more if you just tried to get along. We are a forgiving group and all you need to do is to start playing nice. As it stands you just come across as a silly little Internet troll. You seem to be someone who makes stuff up to try and impress everyone but also come across as someone who is only really trying to impress yourself.
Please, either play nice or go away..............Paul
Posted 1 year ago # -
Sex, you're totally out of line. Since you said "please don't argue" would be sufficient, um, please don't argue. And that seems to mean, in your case, please don't respond. I tried the ass kissing version of telling you you were out of line by saying you're better than this but you've persisted enough to prove to me you're not. The way you "have differing opinions" from others is to argue and cut people down. I don't care how "educated" you are. You're obviously seriously socially inept. Furthermore, to say that Inna's feedback is invalid because of the medication she's on is ridiculous. Are you going to say that my reaction is over the top because I take synthetic hormones in the form of birth control?? Sex, everyone has been telling you you're argumentative and caustic. As I say from time to time, "If ten people tell you you've got a tail, maybe you've got a tail." At least take a damn look at yourself.
By the way, using your bigger vocabulary, name dropping as to who you know and who you've worked with, and calling people sweetie when you're fighting are all ways of putting yourself above people, whether this is a conscious endeavor or not.
-Christina
Posted 1 year ago #
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