I'm not really looking for imput on this one friends. You are my friends on this site. I have to be with my eldest daughter, Jade today ( I want to be) Baby Dorian William was taken at the same time he was given 1 yr. ago today. My daughter's first child. In her home, there is a shrine set up in what would have been his nursery. I am offering an antique hand blown cross to Dorian for is first year. He is a part of our family and my sweet daughter gave him everything he ever needed. So please, today, if ya can just lookupward for a min. and say hey to baby Dorian. Thanks so much i love ya'll and it's hard to type through tears.
Good news she is gonna get off her birth controll at the end of the month and let nature take it's course. It was nothing congenital, so the next baby will be fine. Jade is 25yso and is a Resp. therapist. MOM's gettin old!
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just a min. and look upward..
(20 posts) (11 voices)
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Posted 2 years ago #
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Looking up, mother e, looking up.
Posted 2 years ago # -
God Bless and Good Luck to all of you. Special Loving Thoughts To Baby Dorian.
so sad and so sorry for your loss. losing an infant is devastating, especially in such a short period. all the hopes and dreams, there for one minute, then gone the next. you and your daughter and entire family, must have been crushed. may her next baby bring all of you, renewed love, joy and so much more.
hugs,
chrisaPosted 2 years ago # -
Mom e..
Just checked in up there.. Your little one is playing away with my Grace.... all is well.Posted 2 years ago # -
looked up, blew kisses!
Posted 2 years ago # -
Looking up today. And tomorrow, and the day after that, and after that......
Posted 2 years ago # -
Could some smart computer experts please figure out a way to post a hug already?? MotherE is in serious need of one now!
Until then MotherE, will a "cyber hug" be ok? I am not joking. My motto is "When I don't know what to say and feel helpless to someone in need, HUG'EM."
Posted 2 years ago # -
God bless everyone of you. Our family tribute, prayer and meditation was very healing and appropriate today. My daughter was able to speak openly and talk about the bonding time she was able to have with Dorian last year. Jade was actually able to ponder on the 'what would he be doing now" with light in her eyes and a smile on her face! My heart was so swollen with love and pride for my child. As a woman,she is stronger than I in this arena. I could not say how I would be if I lost a child, if only in infancy (newborn) My baby is my equal and beyond.
Mothers of infants that have passed are made to labor just the same. She spent 13 hrs. bringing Dorian's body into the world. I'm a long time nurse and know these professionals on a personal basis. i could not sway the ob to ease her pain with a C-sect. Apparently, it is believed the body super-flushes it's self with cleansing properties when it is made to deliver naturally. my argument was don't make my child labor for a dead infant. He would hear none of it. After the delivery all the normal steps were taken, and Dorian was presented. He appeared to be a sleeping doll. If he had to be gone, god was kind.almost 10lbs. with milky white hair. I held my daughter as she wailed and kissed her son and told him how sorry she was. The cord was wrapped tightly around his neck x2, he suffocated.
We all are anticipating her next pregnancy, and friends, she really is OK. I know a tear still will frequently flow,but she said she is looking forward to the time when the room will be set back up for a baby. What a day. Nothing in the world is more difficult and rewarding in the universe, than parenthood. I have 17 yo twins to finish me off!!LOL
Norton, maybe you'll let me know who grace is, thank you all. Chrisa, Prof, zitzur,catz3 your words are so important and needed. I remember my husband always saying he wanted to walk on the sun. Now he has his grandson by his side. It is a comforting thought to reunite with the one's I love when the time comes. This is the reason God exists for me, because I need him!!
I could rattle on and on. I want everyone to know I love what Emil. has created here. I feel there is no other site where love and support flows out so freely!! Love and peace to you all, I can see perfectly to type!!Posted 2 years ago # -
MOM "E" i cannot even try to imagine what you all must have gone through, but i really feel for your daughter. sometimes there are just no words or answers when something as tragic as this happens.
it was good that they allowed your daughter to bond in a way with him and say goodbye to her precious child. it is so much more beneficial to moms and dads, when they do that. it gives the child a real life and purpose, albeit far too brief and so unfair, but it gives meaning and some ability for the parents to cope with the loss a bit better.
your daughter is part of you, she has half of your genes, your very traits, that make you who you are, so don't kid yourself about where she gets her strength.
you did well mom, be at peace with things.
Posted 2 years ago # -
I know that I've expressed my love of music numerous times. I just feel like it gives me something unwaivering and substantial to lean on. Like I've said before, I believe there is a song for everyone, and a song for any situation, good or bad. It has such a huge impact, and also, it somehow has a way of restoring the faith that we've lost along the way during the darkest of days.
When I read your story and learned about everything that you've had to endure up to this point, there came a song out of nowhere. Obviously, I don't know your daughter in person, but I do know that this song could belong to her, and every other mother in the world who has suffered the loss of a child. I'm willing to bet that you are probably already familiar with this song I'm about to name.
Go to lastfm.com or any other music site and listen to Paul Simon's beautiful song called "Mother and Child Reunion". But only if you think you can handle it right now, that is. It's almost scary in the way it fits your family tradgedy down to the letter. I listened to it right after I finished reading your post, and I was blown away by the song all over again as I tried to imagine seeing it from your point of view. Perhaps you could share it with your daughter when she is ready. It certainly won't change one thing but it's always going to be there to hold on to. I might sound silly, but I still so much wish that it can help, even if only in the smallest of ways.
Posted 2 years ago # -
Looking up and thinking of ya!
Posted 2 years ago # -
Mom E.... Grace was my little girl... I am convinced she greets everyone
Posted 2 years ago # -
Mother and child reunion is only a notion away! I know the song and it's a great one!Im a big fan of paul simon and art garfunkel! i will turn Jade on to it, s Im not sure she knows it. Again thank you all so much. Your support was so needed. Chrisa, I like to think my 3 have alot of their father in them as well, I'll take the compliment though! Bless you. My children los heir father in june of 03. For little people, hey have had their due share of pain, but I swear we are all very close. Love you all.
Posted 2 years ago # -
tHANKS e. AND gOD BLESS YOU nORTON, CHILDREN, IN MY OPINION SHOULD NEVER KNOW PAIN. tHIS WORLD IS A PAINFUL OLD PLACE. yOU ARE BLESSED iT'S A SOBERING THOUGHT WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT OUR CHILDREN BEING INFINIE.
Posted 2 years ago # -
MUch love to you MotherE. My prayers go out to you and your family.
Posted 2 years ago # -
The little fella is being rocked by his Granddad, both safe & happy.
Posted 2 years ago # -
awww puss honey.... you are a real gentleman.
momE... I wasn't on yesterday but I'm looking up and praying for you all. You, too, norton. Bless all who have lost young ones.Posted 2 years ago # -
M.E., I can't say I know what your feeling because I don't. But I will ask for blessings for litlle Dorian and your whole family. I know with her going off her birth control pills, she needs blessings of her own amd I truly believe they are heard. I pray for showers of new blessings for this new year for all of you. I know there is a reason for everything, but sometimes they are almost impossible to see. Also, I lost my dad about 1 1/2 years ago, he was my best friend. I know he'll hold Dorian with love whenever needed.
Sending love and blessings,
Patty
Posted 2 years ago # -
Norton,
My soul hurts for your pain. I can't imagine that pain returning day after day. After my daid died I read alot of books about life after death. Ever time I read about a death, I know my dad, with his huge heart and genuine compassion will be there to greet all and make them feel comortable and safe. I only hope I am the kind of person to end up near my dad and feel his warm hug.
Pattu
Posted 2 years ago # -
Thanks for all the wonderful thoughts and words gang. I've been up north and with all the hub-bub of the holidays, just been super busy. I haven't jumped off the end of the earth! I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas! btw what snow fun we had, came back to Fla. and the weather is yucky!
Posted 2 years ago #
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